Me and my partner had an argument the other day about who will stay home to take care of our baby and who should come to work. Things would have been resolved smoothly until he said, “You should be the one taking care of the baby because you are the mom. I should be the one working.”
I have yet to prove this but the “Gabriela Silang” blood in me flared-up. I’m just not comfortable people trying to put down moms who work for the family. This is something I least expect or actually do not expect to hear from the person whom I trust the most. I am in so much awe of working-moms that I realize how much growth I need to do to even come close to these superwomen.
Thinking of what happened in a clearer mind (though I cannot assure you that I am already at my best state), I realized I must have misunderstood what he meant. He must have meant something good either delivered in a not so acceptable way or I was just being sensitive. Either way, the debate made me realize a few things:
Me and my partner are different but we complement each other.
I am a nurturer while he is a good provider. I can do things that he is weak at and vice versa. It’s a beautiful thing that we need to discover how to effectively make use of to function well as parents. We are partners after all, not enemies.
Communication is key.
Starting a very sensitive topic in an insensitive manner is not the way to go. Communication is not merely speaking myself out. It’s also about listening to both the spoken and unspoken words of the person I am talking to.
Work comes second to family.
“You define what is important to you by what you dedicate your time to.”
I do not want my children to feel less important than a report sheet. They are far more valuable than a quota. It takes more than saying I love you though for this message to be communicated. And kids, they grow up very fast. I would not want to pass on the opportunity to spend the time with them and witness the firsts in their lives. Work is a blessing but it is not what defines my existence.
So who should work, mom or dad?
There is really no definite answer. There are circumstances where the mom need to work and the dad has to stay home. There are times when they need to work both. Sometimes, it’s the mother who needs to stay with the kids and the father needs to provide. It’s a different answer to different circumstances and families. Know your values and work it out with the whole family.
As for me, I would start off by accepting we are not perfect. In fact, we are a work in progress.
Meanwhile, for moms who are planning to get back to work, Online Resume Builders helped me get started. I needed all the help I can get. Build a resume now, discuss it with your partner and see how getting back to the grind will work-out for your family.
Let me know what you think by commenting below.